When Anxiety Is Not A Bad Thing

Let me start with a confession first. I wanted to post something no matter what today in order to record the date [11.12.13] in my blog. Haha. But, it is a good thing so that I finally have a nice momentum to post this topic that I'll be writing. I've been intending to write about it but laziness has been winning over the urge to write. :p


Have you ever felt anxious about something? I think most of us have experienced at least once in our life the moment when we feel anxious. If one has never felt this feeling, what an extraordinary person he is. Don't you think so? Few days ago, I was anxious when I was attending a workshop where the other participants were all strangers and above all they were Japanese. I was worried whether I would be able to communicate well or not, whether I would be able to join the discussion or not, and so on. Sometimes we could get anxious even for little things.

For the past few months, I've been following a Japanese TV drama about a young lady who wants to be a pilot. She has an easy going personality, she is honest about her feeling, and she is a little clumsy. This young lady has never ridden an airplane before so she doesn't have any idea how it feels to fly. After going through many entrance examinations she finally passes and continues to the training stage. At one of the training activities, she has to sit in the cockpit and to observe the pilot working during a flight. Suddenly, the plane goes through a bad weather so that the plane shake quite hard and she gets terribly shocked. Since the incident she is so afraid about flying and she even thinks of quitting to be a pilot. But then her training instructor tell her that being anxious is normal, especially when we are about to do something we have never experienced before. The instructor then says, "It is because you're anxious that you're doing thing carefully and trying to make thing goes well. You'll learn so hard to get better. What important is to cope with that anxiety." After that she goes on flight again and decides to continue her training to be a pilot.

So the point is, no matter how experienced we are it is important not to be too sure and confident that thing will always go smoothly. It is actually nice to keep a certain level of anxiety or worry so that we will pay more attention on things, be more careful on what we're doing. So that we can avoid carelessness, which may lead to disaster sometimes.

Well then, I wish it becomes a nice read for you guys! Yes, you! :p
Have a good sleep everyone :D



Yesterday I watched a Japanese TV program and at the end of the program there was a nice quote which I will share here. hehe.
A dream you dream alone is only a dream. A dream you dream together is reality.  Yoko Ono

I think it's interesting. But somehow I can't fully understand what does this saying truly mean. :p I'm still trying to figure it out.
Btw I was wondering who Yoko Ono is, and the magnificent Google said that she is married to John Lennon. Although I don't really listen to his music, but at least I've ever heard his name so now I know why Yoko Ono's words became a famous quote. Hehehe.  


My 5th Autumn

Who would have known that I would stay this long in Japan. And now I'm embracing the beauty of autumn for the fifth time here. The first two pictures were taken at a nearby park from where I live at the beginning of this month. Many of the leaves were still green at that time, but one big tree right in front of the park had orange leaves already. The two pictures that follow were taken around last week at the top of Mt. Takao. The leaves were literally red! The view was incredibly pretty as it was sunny, too.
The four pictures below were taken during my afternoon walk today around the neighborhood. I'm not sure whether you have ever seen any or not, but me and many of my friends who also live in Japan, we all love taking pictures of our feet (well, shoes..) and fallen leaves around us. If you can't get what I mean, you can see the pictures below. I think I've been taking that kind of pictures at least one each year. But taking similar pictures all the time might be boring, so I love to also put "uniqueness" to each frame. Anyway, having an afternoon walk in this season is the best! It feels so much better than afternoon walks in spring or in summer and I prefer not to have one in winter :p haha!
The sad thing is that it will be rainy tonight, so perhaps many of those pretty leaves would be swept away by the rain. Hiks.


Seize The Day

"... yesterday is gone, tomorrow is not yet here, and today is your only chance to make a difference. If you make the most of today then you will live your life to the fullest.
We should see each day as a present and an opportunity. Every minute is valuable because you can use it to enjoy life, to get something started or to get something completed. The present moment is the only time in history that you can use to do good and to change the world for the better – no matter how big or small." Bernard Marr
Most people are making use of Linkedin as the media to create professional networks. But actually we could also find good readings there. I used to love reading a lot but along the way it has been very difficult for me to completely reading a book. So, instead of forcing myself to read a book, I usually try to at least read articles, editorials, etc. And turns out that Linkedin could be one of the great sources.


Pocky Day :D

Happy pocky day (11.11) and happy birthday to me! :D

Let's share pocky! ^^
Let's blow the candles fiuhhh~


It's November, Already?!

Back then I was always excited when November came. Why? Because it's my birth month. Although I didn't always have party to celebrate my birthday, but little things like an envelope with some money inside from dad, treats from mom, birthday wishes from best friends, things that somehow were ordinary but felt so special because of the moment, had always been what I excited for.

Things have changed, in a way. I've gotten older, almost reaching my mid-20s. When November comes, the first thing gets in mind is "how time flies so fast". There're only two months left before new year yet there's a feeling that what I've done is far from many. I wish there's still plenty of time left. But, actually if we see it in a positive way, there're still 61 days before the year ends. So, there're still around 1426 hours to do great!

Welcome November! :D

Decoration at the main gate of Tokyo University of Agriculture for Harvest Festival.
November 1st-3rd.


Double Storms Through Weekend

I know the title sounds too much like a weather forecast news. LOL. But it's true, there're literally two storms approaching toward Japan around this time. Thank God that the initially forecasted route of one of the storms changed into a more favorable one. But still some areas in Japan are getting quite great impacts out of it. As for Tokyo, tomorrow will be raining perhaps until around 7 pm.

Btw, talking about storm, which in japanese is translated as arashi, I'd like to talk a lil bit about it. But this one that I wanna talk about is not the arashi storm, but the other Arashi, a japanese idol group. :p

This might be such an old story but with some lucks and miracles, I managed to go to their *last* kokuritsu concert (ARAFES) \(^_^)/. Kokuritsu Kyogijo or National Olympic Stadium Tokyo was once used as the venue for Olympic in 1964. The opportunity for an artist to hold concert here could be said as extra premium. Because of the maintenance for the grass, Kokuritsu only allows one artist to perform there each year. The first artist to hold a concert there was SMAP, another japanese idol group, and they did that for two consecutive years, followed by Dreams Come True, Arashi, and L'Arc-en-Ciel. And among the artists who had performed there, Arashi holds the records of performing for 6 consecutive years. But, with the recent proposal of hosting 2020 Olympic in Tokyo, it was decided that Kokuritsu will go through a mass renovation next year. Thus, this year would be the last chance to hold a concert there *at least before the renovation which will take time until 2019.

At first I didn't get ticket for Arafes through the FC ballot. I was disappointed at the beginning but then gradually forgetting it. But when I wasn't really thinking about it anymore, suddenly an email came telling me I got the ticket through 復活当選 (which google translates it as winning revival *what a strange one!). Actually there is a quite dramatic story about it but I'm too lazy to type everything, huh. So I hurried pay the ticket and didn't stop being excited. Especially because at that time I was in Indonesia, I was really excited to go back to Japan as soon as possible. Well going back earlier wouldn't make the concert start earlier though. So I just tried to enjoy the rest of my stay in Indonesia.

By the time I got back to my dormitory, the ticket for the concert was already inside my mailbox. And instead of doing other stuff, checking where my seat would be was the first thing I did. haha. And it was an arena seat!! Arena seat in kokuritsu was such a miracle! Although I didn't know where it is exactly cuz I haven't been there, plus the arrangements for arena seats have always been different based on how they arrange the stage.

And the day came. Sunday, September 22th, 2013.
Since I only applied for one ticket so I would be going alone! But it was not a problem for me. I knew I would enjoy it anyway :p
The official concert T-shirt that I wore to the concert.
The color is actually a lot nicer than what it looks in the pic.
And there was another excitement when I finally found out my seat. It was so close to the stage. Kyaaaa~!! I sat next to a group of older ladies, came so far from Osaka. The lady next to me was especially very nice so it was another great luck. I will not telling point A to Z about the concert though. All I can say, I could see all 5 of them clearly without binoculars. And all Arashi members, especially Jun, have great auras. You know, something like a STAR-aura. Haha. I'm happy to be able to go there.
Thank you Arashi 



“I’m not in this world to live up to your expectations and you’re not in this world to live up to mine.”
-Bruce Lee-

Expectation. Whether we're aware or not, it may always be somewhere there in our hearts. We're expecting a lot in life. May it be about our futures, about our grades at school, about an order made clothes that we entrust to a taylor, and even about our relationships with people surround us.
Expectation. I personally think it's not completely wrong to have an expectation. But, it will be better when we're aware that there are times when reality doesn't always fit that expectation.
What we need to pay a bit more attention is when it comes to the expectation towards a relationship. May it be with friends or whoever, sometimes there is a tendency when we're unconsciously trying to be what other people are expecting us to be. Perhaps, it's okay to some extend but we shouldn't forget who we are, what we are.  Keeping our own personalities, characteristics is a must. I believe not all relationship is such an everlasting one. Make sure you don't loose yourself when you loose that relationship.


Vlog from Last February's Holiday

February?! Yes, February guys! I know it's pretty outdated but I finally got the chance to process the video clips into one recently and share it with everyone who want to see it.
These clips were taken when I and other Indonesians from PPI Nodai went to Kawaguchiko area for a trip. We rented a cottage which turned out to be much better than I expected. It was extremely cold though. At first I wasn't really excited about the trip but then I was glad that I could put unpleasant feeling aside and enjoyed the trip. It was fun.
I'm also glad that I actually made my camera recorded some moments during the trip. I like that when we keep the camera running and incidentally capture funny moments, as for in this video for example when Kidu and Uki fell down like a domino effect. That was a kind of precious moment that we may not always encounter.
In the beginning of the video we were trying to recall what CANON's slogan/tagline is. After I searched in google, apparently there are some different tagline-s. "Delighting You Always" "Make It Possible With Canon" and "Advanced Simplicity" are among them. Talking about canon, I actually used my canon powershot camera to shoot these clips.
Anyway, here is the video. I hope you guys could feel the excitement too! :D
*ps: I finally made a very short intro video to my vlog hehe :p


An Oldie But A Goodie

An old song that I know I've heard of sometime and somewhere during my life but I just knew exactly who the singer is few months ago after an announcement of a Japanese movie titled "Hidamari no Kanojo" was aired on the TV with this song was being played as the BGM. 

You Can't Have Enough Of It

Bought myself a new pair of sneakers yesterday :) All white, so classic and I love it a lot! Got a pair of mint color shoe laces too and I also bought another pair of shoe laces in purple. Yeay!



Last Sunday, June 9th, I went hiking with some of the anthropology class members. We went to Mt. Takao and Mt. Kobotoke Shiroyama. The professor told us that we walked for around 10 kilometres in total that day! Weeew, no wonder that my feet are still tired even today. Hahaha. So, let me share the adventure through the video below. Enjoy! :)


Love for Shoes

"Women have this obsession with shoes," Alexandra Paul
As many as other ladies out there in the world, I do love fashion items! Although I may not be so stylist in my everyday look, in fact I tend to be simple, but it doesn't pull me away from the excitements when I see a pretty dress, a nice bag or a gorgeous pair of shoes.

But I should admit that I might have more love for shoes than any other fashion items. I remember when I was a high school student, there're many times when I wanted a pair of shoes so bad that I had to persuade my parents to buy me ones. Of course my parents didn't buy me each time I started to persuade them. First, there're no as many occasions to put those shoes on. Second, my parents wanted to tell me that I should learn to think of the poor who may not have a decent pair of shoes at all.

Now that I've started to earn my own money, sometimes I just couldn't help myself when I have to face pretty shoes at the stores. But I have a principle about shoes, I wouldn't trade comfort for beauty! So no matter how beautiful a shoes is, if it hurts to put on, then leave it at all. I've experienced fails about this though. There were times when I put the shoes on at the store, it felt fine even when I tried to walk around with both sides on. But when I put them in real life, doing everyday stuff, then when it passed afternoon my feet would start to itching. It's either because there's a blister on my foot or the heels were just damn uncomfortable. Sometimes in the worst case, I would end up to never put these shoes on again. That is why, I've been extra careful when choosing a pair of shoes. I don't want to waste money for nothing.

So, who doesn't have love for shoes? :p


Fried Rice Nugget

Another food that I also ordered from Bu Tutik was onion chicken nugget. Then I decided to make fried rice and arranged it together with the nuggets and to give a little color, I added broccoli. Yumm :9 In the end I ate more fried rice than the portion that I put on the plate haha. 



Recently I learned that by being confident about yourself would help to make people be more respectful and appreciative to you. Of course, we should make sure not to be over confident. :)


What I Had for Dinner :9

I recently ordered Dendeng Balado (Indonesian cuisine) to someone called Bu Tutik. I've never met her, but many of my friends in facebook had ordered from her so I wanted to try it too. And it's delicious! It's spicy just as what I expected.

As a part of promoting her products and to make her customers enjoy her services, she asks her customers to post a photo of food arrangement, it could be inside a lunch box or on a plate, which consists at least one of her cooking. So, I cooked the spinach and carrot soup plus added a glass of smoothies to make it more colorful :D 

New Blog Title :D

Hi friends!

For you who have been here before, as you can see yourself that I just changed my blog title from puzzle of life to Not your Home. Puzzle of life had been the title since this blog was first created in 2009. But, I suddenly had the idea to change it yesterday! There's no specific reason for it, but since this blog isn't that popular, making such a big change wouldn't be a big deal. haha.

Along with the change, of course I have to change the header picture,  too. So I decided to come with a whole different look from the old one. I hope you like it :) I also plan to change the background picture, but I'll use this one for a while until I find another one. About the contents, basically nothing's gonna change, will still be around my daily life.

And, for you who is new here :) Welcome to Not your Home! As written on the blog tagline above, it's my freespace and you're free to come as well to leave a comment :) 


Sundays Recently

Almost every Sunday, recently, I begin the day with confusion on what to do. Having to go to school and work from Monday to Saturday makes me want to make the most of my Sunday to chill and relax. But, somehow it makes me wonder on how I should spend my Sunday. Whether by being a lazy girl, staying the whole day in my room so that at least I can rest my body or going out somewhere, maybe to a shopping center so that I could be entertained.
Today, I decided to have my skin treated by scrubbing. I just realized it's been so long since the last time I did that. Then, when the sun shine started to get softer, changed by the cloudy sky, I decided to go to a shop to buy Indonesian noodle, Indomie. I haven't eat it for months so I kinda miss it. Although it's not a healthy food but I should say it's delicious. haha. To buy this Indomie, I should take a train to go to the shop! But it's okay because it's not so far. Then I rode the train back to the nearest station to my dorm and drop by a 100 yen shop to buy sink garbage disposal net for the kitchen sink at my dorm room. Just right after that the drizzle started to pour and I rushed my bicycle so that I could be at the dorm before the rain pour more.
Hahaha. What a Sunday diary.


Note To Self

There's so much to be grateful for.



Normally, editing a picture into a BW one is out my preference. Let this time be an exception.

On The Road to Becoming An Adult

I've always knew that eventually I'll go through things where I feel 'Oh God, is it an adult's world?!' or some sorts of thoughts like that. I won't lie I'm definitely excited for the adulthood but not looking forward to it so soon as I think I might not be ready for anything. Things that I did not understand or I did not even know back then.
But here I am, nearly in my mid twenties, I know I can't avoid it. I can't say I don't wanna be an adult anymore. It's time to face reality! haha.
Any decision that I make from now on regarding my life, even a little decision, might bring me to a whole different future. I just hope to be wise each time I'm gonna pass a crossroad.

-random thought on a sunny sunday-


Graduation Yeay!

Finally I officially finished my undergraduate study last March 20th. Felt so blessed and happy that I got to spend the day with my family (minus my dad though because he refused to come --") and friends. The happy moment became more wonderful because of them :D
At the university where I studied, students who are graduating for undergraduate and graduate schools do not wear graduation toga like at most universities in Indonesia or other countries. But there is a custom for female students (especially the undergrads one) to wear kimono and hakama (袴). In the past two years, my Indonesian female seniors wore Kebaya. Then I thought it would be nice to wear kebaya because it would let people know about Indonesian traditional clothing. But kebaya isn't specifically worn for graduation. We can wear it for other events or occasions. I wanted to wear something indicating graduation, you know, for the sake of special memory :p That's why I chose to wear hakama :D It's common for Japanese students to rent hakama from rental shops. Although they're Japanese, not everyone of them has kimono and hakama because they're expensive. So I also visited the rental shop which was cooperating with the university. I chose a simple kimono, which was cheap, but was the only one available at the campus so that I wouldn't be worried that I'll run into another girl who wears the same kimono. And I chose a simple hakama, too which has some sakura flowers in the bottom part. I registered the rental even when it was around half year before graduation day! hahaha. I hadn't even started writing my undergrad thesis by then :p I might seem to be over confident about that, but hey, that could be my motivation to finish everything :D
I was already happy with everything until one day in February, my advisor told me casually that my final GPA is the highest in the department. At that time, I think it's okay to feel even happier but since he told me so very casually so there's still a part in my mind that thought well he might be kidding or whatever. hahaha. But two weeks before graduation day, the official letter from university came and informed me that I got 「国際バイオビジネス学科 成績優秀特別賞」. 
So, here are some pictures from the graduation day :)  
Me wearing hakama :)
Mom, brother, sister
Nodai family
Receiving the award from Univ President
Yeay :D
With some Japanese friends
Guys from the same laboratory
PPI Nodai graduates and family
Me and a friend who always be there, Dhilla :) Thank you for the Duffy!
With my sexy friends! Hahaha Gonna miss you all!
Girls from the same laboratory and my advisor :D
Me giving my graduation speech for the first time ever!
Me and my lovely Joyce
Guys from many other parts of the world :D haha
Yeay our laboratory's graduates!


"Balon Udara" at Different Places

First of all i'd like to thank Sherina for singing "Balon Udara" years ago! It has became one of my favorite songs. Grateful that in my generation, there are lots of great kids' songs sang by Sherina, Joshua, Trio Kwek-kwek, etc. Then some years after that kids started to sing love songs. But I heard, in the recent "Idola Cilik" tv program, they've been singing kids songs again! Cool! I wish kids nowadays in Indonesia could enjoy more songs which are appropriate to their ages.

Btw, often when I travel to different places, and realize at how great the weather is, I could feel that there's an urge to sing "Balon Udara". Started from last year trip to Kamakura, we recorded a video of us singing the song. So these are some videos..hehehe..
Just for fun!


Lazy Blogger

When I look at my blog archive, it is shown how I've became so lazy updating my blog. In 2012, I only posted about 1 or 2 posts in each month. In the first month of this year, too, I ended up with only posted 1 post.
Actually I don't consider myself as a blogger from the beginning. This blog is only a place where I could write something about what I want to talk about. It can be one of my diaries, or whatever, it doesn't even have to have a clear name or description. It's just my free space. I have freedom on what I want to share, I have freedom on when to post something, no rules! :D
Not coming up with any post recently doesn't mean that my life has getting less interesting. Not at all! Actually everyone's lives must be interesting as long as one realizes. As for me, sometimes there're too many things that I end up being confused on where to start. haha! I know too many excuses :p
Gotta try to post more, for my own sake cuz I don't think there's someone else who actually reads my blog posts :p


Me On TV!

Hahahaha well literally yes I was on Japanese tv quite a while ago. But it's not that I had a significant presence there, I was only one of the spectators who were obliged to create noises and fun atmosphere.
So, there's one of my favorite japanese tv show, which is hosted by my favorite japanese idol group, named VS Arashi.
As I mentioned in a post before that getting to Arashi's concert is really hard, and even if we happend to get into one, the seat might be too far from the guys that we can't really see them closely. So, I decided that one of alternatives to see them closely is by participating in one of their tv show.
When we join the Arashi family club, we could apply for participating in their tv show by being the spectator. Although many said that it's even harder than getting a concert ticket. But since tv show recordings are held quite many times in a year, I really thought that I should give it a try!!
Then I started to apply frequently every month since last November. Actually, Arashi has three tv shows, but I decided to consistently apply only to one of the show, which is VS Arashi. The reason is that I simply love it so much, I actually really want to try the games. I tried one, though, the dual curling one last summer :)
And finally! Last month, I got the confirmation mail that I could join the recording. :D
At first I was worried whether they would let me in or not, cuz when we're doing the application procedure, we didn't have to submit photo or etc. So it means that they don't know that I'm wearing headcover.
But, luckily they let me in, although they moved my seat because if i sit on my real seat, i would be very stand out. 
For me, it doesn't matter. Even from my seat, I could see all Arashi members clearly! That was  my motivation after all :D I even had an eye contact with Ohno-san :D It was a very nice of him! Because, we the spectators, are not allowed to communicate with Arashi members and the guests too.
By the way the episode which I joined had already been aired on January 24.
Then, today, when I scrolled down through tumblr post with arashi tag, I saw a scene of the episode where i was captured! hahahaha
So funny seeing it over someone's tumblr post!



Officially submitted my thesis today :D
Just yeay :D


Bye 2012! Hello 2013!

It's January 8th already, but I think it isn't too late to post something about new year, is it?

2012, the year when I finally had to face the reality that I would be in my senior year.
2012, the year when I tried to think what my future plans after graduating from university would be.
Well, even now I haven't been able to create a long-term plan for myself, but at least I know I don't really want to work yet because I haven't figure out what kind of work would be good for me. Of course I know that I would never know whether a job is good or not until I give it a try. Anyway I just don't want to work yet. So I decided to continue my study. Quite a simple reason, right? Actually I wished that the reason I decided to continue my study was passion. But, honestly, no, that's not the reason. Too bad, I know.
2012, again I couldn't bear a room-mate. But thank God, she left after one semester :D
2012, had a lot of trips and adventures! 
2012, the year when I turned into a quite 'freak' fangirl of a Japanese boy band, Arashi. I know, many people around me couldn't bear to stay around me 'cuz I would start to babble everything related to Arashi. But it's just so frustrating to keep all the excitements by myself. :p This fangirl euphoria actually made me broke. It doesn't mean that I spent all of my money, but my savings haven't been increasing in the past months. haha. Well, of course the reason is not only fangirl-ing, but basically I tend to shop when my mood isn't so good. haha. Back to Arashi, in 2012, I went to two of big events of them. Arashi Waku Waku Gakkou and Popcorn Tour Concert!! Although the seats in both events were quite far from the stage, the atmosphere was super amazing. I should admit their voices aren't so great, but the entertainments that they always give are really great. Although I only have been to their concert once, I could feel the greatness of the entertainments through their concerts' dvds, too. Well, I think this fangirl-ing thing will still continue through 2013 :p
2012, made me think a lot about everything. Some stuff might have not ended in a good conclusion. But I think that's life. There's good and there's bad. We just gotta accept it.
2012, bye!
God, thank you for the wonderful year!

First week of the year has passed but I haven't been so productive yet. I slept a lot, it's like a payback after the hectic weeks of thesis-writing. haha.
2013, let's walk slowly, don't run too fast!


Btw, yesterday I finally had a baking lesson again. I made maple almond breads! Tasted good :9